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Centerpieces! Every day across the country couples are making decisions on the inanimate table bunchings that are commonly referred to as centerpieces. Since it is far too easy to spend the equivalent of a 2004 Hyundai on the centerpieces, it becomes important to take another look at centerpieces and what THEY can do for YOU.

SIDE NOTE: A wedding is a major life event that encompasses so many elements, personalities and preferences that it can be completely overwhelming to tackle every aspect – as well as give the proper attention to some crucial aspects. It only seems appropriate that, with our eternal logic and practicality, a man offers his perspective. I am here to bring a healthy dose of mansight into this massive world of weddings. This is usually where Andrea rolls her eyes at me, so back to the subject at hand…

All too often, couples jump to the decision of what color flower to use or what kind of decorative (see glossary) glass to display at the center of the tables without asking the question of ‘what can our centerpieces do for our guests’? At best, your centerpiece will have a beautiful flower display that is pleasant to look at. And since your guests will be staring at the tables for several hours, it is only appropriate that it is pleasant to look at. What if that centerpiece can not only be aesthetically pleasing but also FEED and ENTERTAIN you?? I propose a fully interactive and yes, pleasant looking centerpiece that incorporates flowers and food.

I am still in debate about which food would be best for this new breed of centerpiece. Personally I don’t think there is a better food on the planet than meatballs. A simmering cauldron of meatballs and lil-smokies amongst a small gathering of flowers and shrubbery? Are you kidding me? That would rock my world as a wedding guest. I would unravel my napkin to find a small silver two-pronged poker just begging to impale the simmering meat products – it would be at that moment I would know I was at the greatest wedding of all time. Realistically however, keeping meatballs and lil smokies at the proper temperature would be difficult because it would require an outlet underneath every table and a hole in the middle of each table. That is just not practical.

Transform this spectacle into the greatest centerpiece of 2010

This leads me to a room temperature food option. Since the second best food option on the planet is a meat and cheese platter, I propose (pun intended) an impressive array of ham, salami and various cheeses on an elevated platform at the center of the table. Surrounding the platter is a combination of small flowers and greens making a beautiful jungle surrounding the glory. You really want to dazzle? Throw in some lil smokies wrapped in crescent rolls stabbed on a kabob with assorted sauces hidden among the flowers. Healthy items like veggies and fruit can also be kabob’d and dispersed in the centerpiece. However you do it, your guests will be so excited to see that they don’t have to wait for the buffet line to get started on the best part of the wedding (appetizers).

A delightful blend of classy and tacky. Yes, it can be done.


Glossary:

Decorative: an adjective given to an item or collection of items which if purchased separately would be inexpensive and common. For example, potpourri; this stuff is made of pinecones and dried leaves. Both of which are things most people are forced to irritatingly rake from their yard. Combine them with powerful scents and you get to pay $6.99 per pound!

“Only if you like it too”: you will begin to love this starting immediately

More glossary terms to come…

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